


The Muppet Show! Ft. Steam Powered Giraffe

by 10k



Category: Steam Powered Giraffe, The Muppet Show
Genre: Comedy, Music
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-01-04
Updated: 2018-07-12
Packaged: 2019-02-28 03:07:15
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 4,516
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13262334
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/10k/pseuds/10k
Summary: The title says it all.Okay, so Colonel P.A. Walter's Steam Man Band are guest performers for The Muppet Show. High jinks ensue.Its time to get things started so count to twenty, one is plenty. Cue the curtains please, please...





	1. Muppet Shenanigans With Steam

**Author's Note:**

> There seems to be a lack of Muppet and SPG crossovers, in that there aren't any. So I wrote this in an attempt to get that started. Go ahead and read and, possibly, enjoy!

**knock knock knock**

"Come in!" shouted a low, smooth baritone voice.

The door opened from the outside to reveal, the "gofer" of the theatre, Scooter. "Peter Walter!" he shouted, " 2 minutes ta' curtain folks!"

These guest stars were indeed a, to put it in honesty, different sort. But, then again, this is a show run by a frog who lets pigs, chickens, monsters, and a whatever perform for entertainment so who was anyone to complain. 

This "steam man band" as Scooter had put it were comprised of four metal automatons: one being a tall robot with smooth silver skin wearing a black suit with a red tie, red buttons, and black fedora, a copper clockwork robot wearing a black vest with red accents and a black coachman's hat with goggles over it, an art deco-style gold robot with a tall top hat, curly gold hair underneath it, and red suspenders, and a short pink robot wearing a black cap with a flower in it and dress with red buttons. Their names being The Spine, Rabbit, The Jon, and Upgrade. Along with their human caretaker, Peter Walter V.(Note: this takes place in 1979 so season 4 of "The Muppet Show". Also, there's not a lot of info on Peter Walter IV's dad so bear with me.) Currently preparing themselves for the show with Upgrade doing her makeup, Rabbit trying to spot his reflection in his melodica on a chair, The Jon was sitting on a chair behind him while chewing a sandwich for fun more than hunger, and Peter was patting the shoulders and back of The Spine for dust while the silver bot himself was straightening his tie.

"We'll be there shortly." The Spine said," Just gotta let Mr. Walter put the _finishing touches_ to my suit." He turned his head to see his master that had sunglasses on to conceal his, um, loss of expression and yet somehow gave a "look" that said "Seriously? Yer' starting us off with THAT The Spine?"

As if reading everyone's thoughts, Rabbit looked up from his melodica saying with irritation "Seriously? Y-y-y-yer' starting us off with THAT The Spine? I mean, this show already has someone to t-t-tell awful jokes and he doesn't n-n-n-need your help!"

While The Spine looked slightly offended, Scooter shrugged and nodded as he couldn't deny that statement.

After The Jon had spit out his sandwich, he took out a can of Crystal Pepsi to energize himself. After he finished it, he began bouncing up and down, giggling like a madman as he did so.

Upgrade looked around at her brothers and said to herself "It's going to be a very long show tonight. Depending on how many of those he drinks, that is."

Everyone, sans The Jon, could only nod in agreement.

.......

Kermit the Frog stepped out of the "O" in the "The Muppet Show" logo as he usually does and announced to the audience "It's The Muppet Show! With our very special guest stars, brought to you by Walter Robotics: Peter A. Walter's Steam Man Band!" The crowd cheered while he let out a breath of air after that mouthful. The music began and the intro had played as it normally did.(Reminder note: Season 4 opening.) 

Statler and Waldorf were watching from high in the balcony as per usual and just couldn't help themselves.

"Hey! Have you heard?" Statler asked his companion, "Machines have taken over!"

"Oh, I knew this day would come!" Waldorf shouted, "The machine age has begun! Duck-in-cover!" Statler responded by cackling alongside him. Then both resumed watching the show.

Just as the chorus ended, the billboard had come down with Gonzo in the "O" ready to blow his trumpet. Just before he could though, two other trumpets blew loudly into both of his ears causing him to fall over. The trumpet players revealed themselves to be The Jon and Upgrade, poking out their heads, laughing like lunatics in the end with the audience also amused,

Upgrade looked down to see how high they were and questioned to The Jon "How do we get down?"

The show had begun.


	2. Clockwork Vaudeville

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **Disclaimer: If it's not obvious already, I don't own The Muppets or Steam Powered Giraffe! They all belong to their respected owners.**  
>  OK, I wanted to do it anyway so here's another chapter. This chapter will require you to play Album One(2009 version) of "Clockwork Vaudeville." It's available on Spotify and Bandcamp. 
> 
> Nothing left to say, so I hope you enjoy it!

Kermit the Frog walked onto the stage onto the stage, carrying a banjo along the way, and greeted the audience as they applauded for his arrival.

"Thank you! Thank you!" He shouted, "Hi-Ho and welcome again to The Muppet Show! Hey, wouldn't you know it? We are going to have a SPECTACULAR show for you all tonight! Because ton-"

He was interrupted by a "Psst. PSST! Kermit!" He turned around to see Fozzie Bear poking his head out from behind the curtains.

"Uh," Kermit started, "Yes Fozzie?"

"Kermit!" Fozzie whispered not so quietly, "There's, uh, something wrong with the guest stars."

"What's are they doing?" Kermit inquired.

"Fozzie turned back his head for a brief second before looking back to his boss and responding "Well, that's just it. They're not doing **anything.** They're just hunched over and, uh, not moving. Oh, I think we might have to cancel the show."

Before Fozzie could say or do anything else, Kermit stopped him "H-hold it Fozzie! There's nothing wrong with the guest stars, they are SUPPOSED to be like that!"

Fozzie looked at him strangely. "They are?" 

Kermit nodded, "Yes Fozzie, right now they're just powered down."

Fozzie looked at the audience, quite confused now. "Why?" He asked.

"Because they're robots," Kermit answered like it was obvious and looked between the bear and the audience " as I was about everyone, not just ANY robots, but the Automaton Blokes from Walter Robotics, commonly known as "The Steam Man Band!" 

After he said that, the crowd began to cheer loudly, ranging from claps to whistles everywhere.

Kermit nodded at their reaction; though, Fozzie still looked confused.

"Okay," He said, " sa-so just to be clear: there's nothing wrong with them?"

"Um," Kermit paused to think of a proper answer and then said, "Well, Mr. Walter V told me that that is completely subjective."

The audience chuckled at his answer and Fozzie understood what he meant by that. Remember what show they're on, after all. 

"Oh," He realized and said pleasedly, "Oh, they'll fit in perfectly then!"

Then as he disappeared behind the curtains, Kermit resumed with his introduction.

"Yes, well, uh," He cleared his throat, " so sit back ladies and gentlemen as the band, and myself take you down to a trip at the Clockwork Vaudeville." He finished, dreamily.

As the audience cheered, Kermit began to play a few notes on his banjo, as he was requested to do this by Mr. Walter, and he slowed his playing until he stopped completely.

Then the curtains slowly opened up to reveal, as previously mentioned, the band members hunched over, indicating they were powered off. But that changed as Kermit began to strum his banjo and they began to power up as he did so. The Jon was on the left holding a mandolin, The Spine, to his left, holding an acoustic guitar, Rabbit holding his mandolin, and Upgrade with a tambourine, with Sgt. Floyd Pepper on the far left holding a bass, and, of course, Animal on drums.(He doesn't sing in this but he does say stuff.)

**Kermit** _We're going to start the show._  
_I'd like you all to know_  
_You need to cover your eyes please, please_  
The robots and Floyd began tuning their instruments and positioning themselves. Kermit, himself, moved far behind Upgrade.  
_Count to twenty,_  
**All** _Cue the curtains please, please._  
**Kermit** _Open your eyes_  
_Hear the robots singing_  
_I present to you the Steam Man Band!_  
_Especially constructed just for you, hoo._  
The Spine strummed the first the first notes over Kermit's banjo, The Jon did the same with his mandolin, Animal gave them a small beat to follow, Floyd played his bass, Upgrade hit and waved her tambourine around, and Rabbit played his melodica with them.(Note: You know who sings which verse. Just remember Kermit, Floyd, and Animal are here so they'll be singing too.Also, play the 2009 version for Upgrade's vocals.Honestly, I'm too lazy to write everyone's parts, sorry.:)

 

_When I was a young boy I went down to the county fair_  
Brought myself a nickel, bought a pickle, had change to spare  
Thought I'd spend a cent or two to see what the robots could do 

_There were wires all around_  
Electrical sounds  
Steam from their exhausts  
Gears and coils all criss-crossed (Ah, ah, ah ha ha!) "Eay!" Floyd and The Jon yelled.

_Everybody's going to the clockwork vaudeville_  
Everybody wants to see the show  
People crowd the door and scream and shout for more  
While music and song fill the air 

_Clockwork vaudeville (Clockwork vaudeville)  
Clockwork vaudeville (Clockwork vaudeville)_

_There were four metal people dressed oh so sharply_  
They sung and danced a catchy tune with automaton robotic ease  
Their guitar strings hummed to the beat kept by their tambourine 

_Boilers making steam (ah ha ha ha ha)_  
Metal gleaming (ah ha ha ha ha)  
Songs with a good tune (ah ha ha ha ha)  
That would stick with you all through the afternoon (Ooo, ooo, ooo who who) 

_Everybody's going to the clockwork vaudeville_  
Everybody wants to see the show  
People clap and stop their feet and join in with the robot beat  
While music and song fill the air 

_Clockwork vaudeville (Clockwork vaudeville)  
Clockwork vaudeville (Clockwork vaudeville)_

"Hey, Sgt. Pepper! T-t-take this verse, why don't ya!" Rabbit offered and Floyd obliged. He sang the main verses while everyone else did the chorus.

_A man came up to me after the show, after the show_  
(He had a moustache)  
And asked me if I'd like to meet the robots up close, the robots up close  
(Not programmed to bite)  
Well they greeted me and one shook my hand, one shook my hand  
(Absolutely cool)  
And asked me if I'd like to join his robot band, I said oh yeah  
The Spine took over once again.  
_Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah-ah-ah_

They glitched out a bit but then began playing again like nothing happened.

_Everybody's going to the clockwork vaudeville_  
Everybody wants to see the show  
People crowd the door and scream and shout for more  
While music and song fill the air 

_Clockwork vaudeville (Clockwork vaudeville)  
Clockwork vaudeville (Clockwork vaudeville)_

_When I was a young boy I went down to the county fair..._  
The song had finished, the audience cheered, and the robots powered while the other took their bows.

Statler and Waldorf saw the whole thing and decided to comment.

"You know, I remember when I first went to the Clockwork Vaudeville." Waldorf said, "Ah, the nostalgia."

"Yeah," Statler said, "what'd ya see?"

"I don't know, I slept through the whole thing." Waldorf answered, chuckling. Statler had a look of confusion on his face.

"But that's you for every show." Statler said.

Waldorf answered, "That's what makes it nostalgiac." The two old men then howled into laughter. But were interrupted by the sound of the robots powering up again

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alright, the chapters will come when they're ready. I'm sorry but I have school and I'm not very organized. OK, well, that wraps it up for now. Feedback is appreciated/needed, please and thanks. Alright, well 'til next time!


	3. Introductions

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **Disclaimer: I own nothing! I am not worthy.**
> 
>  
> 
> Nothing much, but it's something nonetheless. Help yourselves.

Once they powered up, they each stood tall and gleaming within the light. A variety of mechanical from steam being let out to clicking and whirring as they each held their instruments in their arms respectively( or, in Upgrade's case, set it of to the side by where Kermit was sitting). 

Once she returned to the side with the other metal men, the Spine began to speak with the audience. "Welcome," he began, "ladies and gentlemen!"

"B-b-b-boys and g-girls!" Rabbit said after.

"Creatures of all kind!" The Jon continued.

"And bots of all design!" finished Upgrade.

Then all together joined in " **We are the Steam Man Band!** "

"Brought to you by Walter Robotics!" said Upgrade in a "commercial announcer" voice.

The Spine finished with "And we've been programmed to entertain you." pointing at someone in the audience, "And you," pointing at someone else, "and you" and another one, "and you" another, "and you" another, "and y-" he stopped as he pointed at the balcony as he saw a familiar face.

"Oh, hey! I remember you!" he said, all eyes on Waldorf now. He looked around and was confused.

"Me?" he asked, pointing to himself. 

The robots looked at him with scrunched eyebrows but then a look of realization took their place and the Rabbit was first to respond.

"Oh, yeeeaah!" Rabbit said, slowly, "We m-m-m-met you at the Vaudeville!" 

Both Waldorf and Statler had shocked faces but for different reasons: Waldorf was shocked that they actually remembered him and Statler, because his earlier comment wasn't a joke.

"That wasn't a joke?!?" he shouted.

"What?" Waldorf shouted.

Statler groaned, "Your hearing aid's busted! AGAIN!"

While the old men bickered, the robot's conversed amongst themselves. 

"He became the house of a b-b-bunch of albino caterpillars the l-l-l-last time we 'im." Rabbit remarked.

"I'm confused." Upgrade stated, "Is he the kid we based the song on?"

"No," The Spine answered casually, "we based the song off of Micky Reed, watching us in front." He looked back at Waldorf, "He was in the back asleep from being tied to his chair and drooling." He finished, still casually.

Upgrade mouthed an "Ah" which then became an "Oh", "His parents did that right?" The Spine nodded. "Oh, now I remember. "

Interrupting any further conversation, Kermit cleared his throat. The robots turned to face him.

"Listen, that's fine and all but isn't this where you, uh, introduce yourselves?" He asked.

"W-w-why?" Rabbit asked, tilting his head.

"Well, there just might be some people here who don't know you by name." Kermit reasoned.

"Oh, n-now that's silly! Everyone obviously kn-kn-knows who we are!" Rabbit scoffed.

"Uh, excuse me?" a voice said. Rabbit looked to see it was Fozzie staring at him timidly.

"Sorry but, uh, I don't know who you are." He told him.

There was a bit of chuckling in the audience at that timing as Rabbit stared at him for few seconds then at the audience, his blank face unchanging, and finally faced The Spine.

"The Spine!" he whisper-yelled, "You said we were famous!" 

"No, I didn't Rabbit." He said with his at normal volume, "I said we were _infamous._ We usually play small shows so we should feel welcomed to The Muppet Show." He said to Rabbit while looking at Kermit when he said that last part.

"Oh, you're very welcome." Kermit said.

"And anyways, he's right we should introduce ourselves. I'll start: my name is The Spine and I was built with a titanium alloy spine." He pointed to his back, turning around, and sure enough, there was...what he just said.

"Oh, that's neat." Fozzie remarked, and even though he didn't know a lot about robotics, he just had to ask, "Is that all?" 

The Spine turned to face him, "Why yes, for you see that's my" he smirked, " _backstory_." 

He received reactions that came in the forms of small chuckling, groans, an "Aaaah" from Fozzie, and "BAD PUN! BAD PUN!" from Animal.

"Thank you, I wrote that one myself." He said, laughing lightly.

"N-no he didn't." Rabbit said frowning, but then sighed, "Might as well: Greetings! My n-name is Rabbit. And I was b-b-b-b-built back in 1897."

"Huh?" Everyone said.

"Y-y-y-you know, when it was illegal fir women to read and write." Rabbit answered.

"...huh?" 

"And all the men dressed like Mr. Peanut."

"Oh." Everyone responded.

"I'm like a priceless antique. I've aged like fine wine." Rabbit said, haughtily. 

"I would say you aged like milk. Spoiled, sour, and ruining my breakfast." Upgrade mocked. Rabbit looked offended and was about to retort before Upgrade finished "But then, I can't eat breakfast so who am I to talk?" she grinned, "I'll tell you who I am: I'm Upgrade and I guarantee I'm more interesting than The Spine because I'm the pretty one!" Her eyes, literally, sparkled as she smiled.

People cheered but The Spine was unconvinced. 

"I wouldn't call you 'the pretty one', I mean-"

" **I'M PRETTY!!!** " Upgrade yelled, eyes glowing red and her voice inhumanly deep as she looked at the silver automaton who flinched and mouthed an "Okay! Okay." She turned back around with a "Tee-hee", grinning and eyes back normal.

The Jon spoke up "And last, but certainly not least, I am The Golden Crystal Pepsi Conqueror." Triumphantly, raising his fist then shrugging "Also known as The Jon." Smiling with jazz hands.

The Spine put a hand on the golden bots shoulder, "You'll have to excuse The Jon. He hasn't grasped the idea of...being normal, as of yet. But, then again, we're on a show where normality is virtually nonexistent so I suppose it doesn't matter." Some laughed but he continued, "But that aside, we've come to The Muppet Show with programming that consists of playing instruments and singing songs and, as we figured earlier, this is going to be a long show and we look forward to it. Thank you." 

As he finished, the audience clapped and cheered loudly as the curtains closed and the automatons waved.

_More was yet to come..._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alright, I have school so updates might come slower but here's something for the meantime. Also, if they're any suggestions for situations(for ex. I have something planning for a "Veterinarian's Hospital" thing) and any song requests would be fine. As they said, it'll be a long show. Alright, sayonara!


	4. Preview

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **Disclaimer: I won nothing! Nor do I own anything for that matter.**   
> 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ....Soooo....who's ready for the 10th Anniversary Concert? I know I am! Unfortunately, no new chapter but I will give a preview of what's in store. I feel that the people who are reading and two left kudos, thanks to all of you, by the way, deserve something. Enjoy.

_"This may be the start of a beautiful friendship! Two true artists! What could possibly go wrong?" said Gonzo._

_The Jon laughed and put his hand on the "whatever's" back. "So, shall we get started on the song?"_

_Gonzo beamed and exclaimed, "This masterpiece will be magic, I tell you! MAGIC!!!"_

_The Jon tilted his head, "What kind of magic?"_

_Gonzo looked ready to respond but he stopped "Uuh, let me get back to you on that."_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Very brief, I know, but there will be more. Until next time...


	5. Update

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hello and sorry.

I know it's been awhile since I updated and I'm sorry but I'm suffering from writer's block. I'm still thinking of a way to properly move the story forward and I can't find the time to do that. However, I didn't want to leave anyone assuming so I hope this clears things up. The story isn't over and there's no way I'll stop until I see that this story is done. I promise I will update as soon as I possibly can. I hope you can understand and if so, thank you. Once again, I'm sorry.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Until then...


	6. Back away from Shakespeare

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I'm glad I finally got my springs back thanks to a certain comment which I once again give eternal thanks to.  
> Speaking of which, I'm going to try to update more frequently but I'm torn between making a structured story and writing from my heart...  
> I hope you enjoy!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **Disclaimer: You know the drill by now.**

As the audience cheered, The Spine and The Jon had followed Kermit back to the, uh, backstage.

"Alright, nice opening number everyone!" praised Kermit as he put his banjo to the side.

Sgt. Floyd was holding onto the chain wrapped around Animal's neck who continued to yell "ROBOTS! ROBOTS!"

"Yeah, I'm sure we'll be getting used to it tonight." He said, chuckling, as he pulled Animal to await his next number.

Kermit, however, was unsure of what that response meant but shrugged it off to the side to speak with the two automatons before him"

"Right, so, The Spine," he began, "may I just say that you have a wonderful vocal range."

The Spine smiled at the genuine compliment and responded with, "Well, thank you very much! You're very good yourself with that banjo of yours." His deep, baritone voice chuckling as he gave him a thumbs up. Deciding to change the subject, he began, "But, I have to ask: why did Rabbit and Upgrade stay behind?"

Kermit shifted slightly, not expecting that question but, nevertheless, answered anyway. "Oh, uh, I thought they told you already. Well, uh," clearing his throat, "Rabbit has requested to do a performance which he calls, quote," he paused to shudder slightly, then continued, " _take the bard's out and have him eat it out._ " He finished, rather meekly.

Understanding his words though, The Spine turned his head and leaned towards The Jon and clarified, "He's doing Shakespeare." The Jon nodded robotically. (what did you expect?)

"Okay, well, what about Upgrade?" The Spine asked, turning back to the frog host.

Kermit, now a little more confident, responded, "Yeah, uh, she stayed, quote once more," clearing his throat again, " _to reach out to the weary wanderers and call out the dreary and unknown sounds and present their truth._ "

The Spine, once again, turned to The Jon and said, "She's keeping the audience awake by translating what Rabbit, evidently, has no idea what he's saying." The Jon nodded.

They all turned to a new source of sound which sounded like a muffled 'I do too know what I'm saying!' from Rabbit.

But then, Peter Walter V came in and said to Kermit "Excuse me, Kermit but I'm going to need to check on their systems to ensure nothing else goes wrong for tonight. It won't take long."

"Oh, go ahead. Do what you need to." Kermit assured. And P.W.V brought the two automatons to the back of the room and as the did Gonzo had made his way to his boss's side, looking at the robots at the robots in astoundment, yet slight confusion.

"Wow!" He breathed out, "Kermit, who are these people and what are they doing here?"

"Well, Gonzo, these are Peter Walter's Steam Man Band, who have been programmed to entertain us, and have come out tonight as our guest stars!" He stated, rather proudly.

Gonzo turned to him, "Yeah, I get that much but, uh," He got closer to Kermit and lowered his voice, "I thought our guest star was supposed to be David Bowie."

Kermit looked at P.W.V still working on The Spine and The Jon and then turned back to Gonzo speaking in an equally low voice, "Yes, well, between you and me: he was busy and they weren't and I was pressured for time." Gonzo did an "ah" gesture and nodded in understanding.

They backed away as P.W.V came to Kermit and stated new information. "Alright, no flaws found apart from that one glitch. Now, where are Rabbit and Upgrade?"

"Right here!" Upgrade said, casually.Walking towards them as she was holding up Rabbit by the "scruff" of his neck. 

"Those gents were into it, I telleth ya! INTO IT!!!" Rabbit exclaimed, flailing in the air by Upgrade's grip.

"Okay, well, I suppose you'll handle them then?" Kermit asked P.W.V. He nodded and Kermit continued, "Good! Stand by for your next number!"

The robots and their maker all went back to their room, which had its door torn down, all except for The Jon.

"Hey, um, you guys go ahead. I want a sandwich." He said, rather shyly.

P.W.V gestured for him to go ahead and The Jon beamed. (Not literally)

As The Jon made his way to the cafeteria, Gonzo was watching from behind. "Robots and music?" he contemplated and then gasped, "Artistic opportunities?" He looked at his boss then at the fleeing golden automaton and shrugged. "Hey, come back! I want to talk to you!"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm trying to use the least amount of Peter Walter V as I possibly can as there isn't that much info on him. I hope you all understand.
> 
> Thanks to all who are reading and waiting patiently, all of the kudos, and for that inspiring comment from Abbey and I will try to make this as entertaining as possible!  
> Until then!


	7. Can't take the heat, stay out of the kitchen!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Something is better than nothing. My ideas function like an on and off switch. I have a Veterinarian's hospital skit planned out already but how to get to it is what I've been planning on. Plus, things in my life that needed taking care of. Hope you enjoy!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm not dead! I feel fine! I-I-I...still don't own anything! Also, don't try anything in this chapter at home...

The Swedish Chef is once again greeting us in his kitchen with two pans in each hand bouncing up and down and in all other sides to the merry tune.

" _Yorn desh born ___  
_der ritt de gitt der gue, ___  
_Orn desh, dee born desh, de umn, _  
_Bork! Bork! Bork! _____

________He slammed the two pans together each time he said "bork" before throwing them behind for them to land behind him for them to crash into something else behind him. Not seemingly caring about where they landed or what they hit, he kept his attention on the audience addressing them with hand gestures all the way through._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________"Fur zeese-a deeshes, I im infiting zee-a rubut zeet luoks leeke-a a gurl, Upgrede-a." He said, presented to his right and there was Upgrade walking in waving to the audience._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________"Hello! Yes, I'm here," she said, curtseying to the audience the to the chef himself._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________"Nuo, fur tudey's deeshes: zeey vill requoure-a heet und luts ouff it!" He pointed to the metal bowls of hot dogs, potato slices, and corn pieces and then began to look around for the proper tools to get started. And when I say proper tools, I mean proper for him. That being, a flamethrower._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________"Um," Upgrade began, "excuse me, but can help?" A smile on her face for more convincing._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________The flamethrower he had wasn't starting up for some reason and the chef was more focused on that rather than her question._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________"I'm sure there's something I can d-," But she was cut off by what can only be assumed as Swedish cursing as he was slamming the flamethrower on the ground multiple times trying to get it to work._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________Upgrade finally realized she was being ignored and let her smile drop into pout but quickly morphed into a frown. She then moved her arms from left to right, hands in fists, and above her waist._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________"Alright," she began, condescendingly, eyes glowing red, and then shouted, "but you asked for it!" If the Swedish Chef was paying no mind to her before, he was now just like the audience as she huffed and she puffed and, with the chef gasping before ducking for cover, she-_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________...................._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________Down in the Muppet Cafeteria, a muffled "boom" was heard causing a brief bump in the room and everyone present to jump before going back to what they were doing with Gladys, the lunch lady, muttering about "fatso pig making a scene"._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________Meanwhile, Gonzo, with a coffee mug, was sitting next to The Jon, who was chewing on a sandwich and had a soda in his hand, as they were chatting about there art and lifestyle._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________"So she can shoot lasers out her eyes?" Gonzo asked in awe._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________"Oh, yeah," The Jon Replied while chewing, "there was this one time where everybody wanted smores and Rabbit was having a screaming session so we got Upgrade to do it. Though, when she does it, she likes to huff and puff even though she doesn't need to and then, like fireworks, things explode." Popping his mouth for emphasis._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________"Wow!" Gonzo said in amazement but then looked away, furrowing his eyebrows, and then looked back and asked, "Why are we suddenly talking about this?"_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________The Jon opened his mouth to reply but then also furrowed his eyebrows before shrugging. Gonzo let out a "huh" and then dismissed it to continue discussing on their collaboration._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________...................._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________The kitchen was filled to the brim with hills of hot dogs, french fries, and popcorn all of which, I assume, the Swedish Chef was buried under._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________Upgrade, however, was doing fine. I dare even say "perfect". She was giggling as more fires, hot dogs, and popcorn kept falling from the "pop" sound up above. They were exploding just like fireworks._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________The pink automaton then turned to the audience, who were in a mix of hysteric laughter and jovial glee for the free food, and said "I guess he could say that was "tuo hot tu huondle-a" !" She said in a spot on impression of Swedish Chef,(I keep calling what he is because I don't know what to compare him to) before laughing like a lunatic._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________"Well," an old voice shouted,_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________She looked and saw it was Waldorf who began, "you know what they say!"_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________Statler continued for him, "If you can't take the heat-" and together they finished, "STAY OUT OF THE KITCHEN!!!"_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________The joke set the old men cackling with the audience and Upgrade, who also found it funny._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Rabbit breathes fire but let's assume Upgrade has heat vision. Hope you enjoyed! Until next time...

**Author's Note:**

> I hope this was enjoyed. This was one chapter but if anyone at all is reading then I'll make more. However, this is my first story and my writing may not be the best or my originality for comedy for that matter. I just might be asking for help from anyone who can understand the source material. Once again, I'm new at this so feedback would be very much appreciated. Keep in mind, some things will be different. For example, the band wasn't called "Steam Powered Giraffe" until 2008. At least, in the lore's history. So just be aware of that. Also, if anyone can make art for this, not telling anyone to do it, that would be... so spectacular. Alright, thanks for reading!


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